$4 Movies At the Local Theater Are Worth a Few Bruised Knees

December 29, 2013 § Leave a comment

You always hear people talk about their local coffee shop or their local bookstore and why they love the quaint, quiet, local-ness of it all. You don’t often hear people talk about their local movie theater though. People talk about movies all the time, sure, but never the theater itself. This is probably because most movie theaters are your average, typical AMC or Regal chain. Even so, I love the little things that turn your average chain into your local theater.

My local theater is the AMC Tri-City 8 in Clearwater, FL. I’ll be honest here and let you know it’s a below-average theater. It’s small, so it doesn’t carry very many movies at a time. The seats aren’t the most comfortable things to sit on. And for some reason the lights in the theaters are always off, even before the trailers start. Even so, Tri-City has a certain charm to it.

First off, there are places to eat all around the theater, including a small ice cream shop. So if you’re like me and enjoy sneaking food into the theater eating before seeing a movie, Tri-City has tons of options. There’s also a Dollar Tree in the plaza, and everyone knows Dollar Trees lead to cheap entertainment and childish behavior. You can’t go wrong with that.

Second, the whole small, below-average theater thing actually works to movie-goers’ advantage. There are bigger, newer theaters in the area, so most people go to those for their cinematic pleasure, leaving Tri-City relatively empty. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a movie in a theater with no one else there, but it’s a great way to pretend you have your own private theater and aren’t actually a poor college student. You can yell at the characters, make jokes, and generally be obnoxious because no one is there to tell you otherwise.

Third of all, the bathrooms at Tri-City have movie posters hanging on the walls. Who doesn’t enjoy peeing across from Brad Pitt’s glorious face? No one, that’s who. They’re also quite clean for public bathrooms, so you don’t feel at all dirty while peeing across from Brad Pitt’s glorious face. Also, the staff is very efficient when it comes to replacing the Employees Must Wash Hands signs. A friend of mine tends to take them and add them to her collection back home. (I don’t know how she started this collection. She also collects fake fruit. I don’t question her about these things.)

The fourth, and probably most important, reason that Tri-City is amazing is that it offers the cheapest movies, hands down. Monday through Thursday, before 4 p.m., tickets are only $4. Yes, adult tickets. They’re $4. And even on nights and weekends tickets are only $6. Do any other theaters even do that? Does anyone else remember what buying a cheap movie ticket feels like? Seeing a movie at Tri-City is like living in an age when gas was $1. Remember when gas was $1? No? You should probably see a movie at Tri-City. You’ll feel so much joy you won’t even realize that you’ve just run into a chair because the theater is so dark.

Admittedly, I do occasionally see movies at the nicer and farther away Woodlands theater. But Woodlands has an IMAX, and that pretty much negates the crowded, pricey aspects of the theater. But when I’m not feeling the IMAX vibe, Tri-City is the place to go. Just don’t try to movie-hop. It’s too small a theater for that, and you will get kicked out. Trust me. I speak from experience.

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